Victory

"Love is a Miracle" by Maverick City Music

I was down in the valley Before love came and grabbed me Never thought I'd see the sun again Without no hesitation You became my resurrection All the light came shining in Now I’ve got beauty for ashes And I’ve got joy for mourning And I’ve got praise for heaviness Love is a miracle This is more than religion Glad I’ve made my decision Hope reversed the curse I was walking in Now I'm dancing out my grave clothes Where you lead me I will follow You gave a light that the darkness can’t comprehend I remember the voice that called me I remember when my heart said yes I will never forget that morning You were singing over me Now I’ve got beauty for ashes And I’ve got joy for mourning And I’ve got praise for heaviness Love is a miracle Now I’ve got mercies in the morning And I’ve got rivers overflowing And I’ve got freedom and I’m dancing Love is a miracle

Y’all…Easter Sunday just wrecks me every year. Year after year, God reveals something to me that I may have been missing. (I wrote this on Sunday but I'm just now getting to post it due to Easter activities and a storm that took our power/wifi out.)

I was watching church online this morning, and my pastor was talking about the first Easter Sunday. In John 20:11-15, when Mary sees Jesus outside of the tomb, she doesn’t recognize Him. She misses what Jesus is trying to tell her because she had already labeled the day as a bad one. Pastor Jason talked about the naming rights that we have and that the way we name or label something is how it will turn out to be.

One of the big reasons Easter hits me so hard whenever I think of it is the fact that it’s all about life from the one that everybody had thought to be dead. It’s all about Jesus rising out of the grave. And it makes me think about the transformation in my own life (one that I’ve shared with y’all time and time again). When I was in middle school and high school, I would say that my life was labeled by crippling fear and depression, and over time, I had come to think that my life was labeled as ‘over’. I remember at different points in my life, before all this darkness, I had dreamt of a future. I had dreamt of finally graduating, getting married, having a family- all of these big things for my life. But I got to this point where I forgot/didn’t care anymore…I didn’t want to live through all of the pain that I was going through.

There are still moments where I freak out a little bit because I don’t know what I’m doing- I didn’t really think that I’d make it this far. And I remember thinking the other day, “When I get back to Pittsburgh and someday get to step into my first apartment, that’s when I’ll know that I’ve made it.” And this thought has been going through my head for the past few days, but it’s SO WRONG. And it all hit me today.

Jesus knew the labels that I had placed on my life over 7 years ago, but He had a label meant for me! His victory is my victory! And when I gave my life to Jesus, I took that label- so why try to cover that label with something else?

As I sat through church this morning, I thought about all of the “seemingly little” victories that once would have seemed impossible to me. And I’ll sum a couple of those victories up in one sentence: I moved across the state, to a city where I knew no one, and I’m pursuing worship and youth ministry. I would have laughed at you years ago if you’d told me that. I was stuck in my anxiety and depression and suicidal thoughts- I had given up on all of the things that I’d loved.

But as we sang in church this morning, God takes what the enemy meant for evil and He turns it for GOOD. He made a way in my life and He worked miracles. Not only did I SURVIVE that darkness, but now I get to flip it and use it to help other people!

I get to determine what the story of this season is in my soul. I don’t want to settle in this season and look at these victories as being ‘it’, but I also don’t want to belittle the season I’m in, with all of the victories that have come through it, just because it doesn’t look like what I had once dreamed for myself- because it’s better. So, ya, I don’t have my apartment yet and I’m not married with kids, but I DID make it. I made it through the social anxiety. I made it through the depression (and this is the first year that I didn’t struggle with seasonal depression)! I can choose to be victorious now and continue to chase after God, and He will bring other victories in the future!

Now I’ve got beauty for ashes And I’ve got joy for mourning And I’ve got praise for heaviness Love is a miracle Now I’ve got mercies in the morning And I’ve got rivers overflowing And I’ve got freedom and I’m dancing Love is a miracle

His victory is my victory…and it’s YOUR victory too. Are you going to replace the label that you’ve placed on your life? I encourage you to do so! I believe in you, and I believe that God’s got big plans for you, but not just plans for the future; He’s got plans for you now!