Piece by Piece

Still by Hillary Scott

I believe that You are God alone But sometimes I still try to take control Cause I get scared when I can't see the end And all You want from me is to let go You're parting waters Making a way for me You're moving mountains that I don't even see You've answered my prayer before I even speak All You need for me to be is still I bring my praise before I bring my need Cause there's no fear You've not already seen I rest my heart on all Your promises Cause I have seen and know Your faithfulness You're parting waters Making a way for me You're moving mountains that I don't even see You've answered my prayer before I even speak All You need for me to be is still And know that You are God Be still And know that You, trust that You are parting waters Lord, You whispered my name Oh, You answered my prayer You're moving mountains You're parting waters Making a way for me You're moving mountains that I don't even see You've answered my prayer before I even speak All You need for me to be is still Be still

"Be still, and know that I am God."

-Psalm 46:10

My family has learned that my dad is terrible at giving a Christmas or birthday list because he never wants anything. But, what we've also learned is that my dad loves puzzles. So, we've bought my dad puzzles for Christmas and his birthday since discovering this. My dad uses the whole basement to work on these puzzles. While walking by a puzzle one day I so badly wanted to grab the pieces and finish it, but it wasn't my puzzle to finish. I went to the store and I bought myself my own puzzles to work on.

One of these puzzles I started before Christmas, but I got impatient and decided to step back from the puzzle and focus on other things. I revisited this puzzle the other day and worked on it section by section. Sometimes I would almost have a whole section done except for ONE piece and it drove me crazy! I just wanted the puzzle to be complete! I was so sick of sitting there and staring at the pieces, trying to figure out which pieces went where. Sometimes I wasn't even right about what section these pieces were supposed to go in, they looked similar to something in another section. When I bought the puzzle I knew what it would look like. With all the pieces out, I carefully laid out each one so that it was facing the right way. I took the time to place each piece somewhere that I could see it. But since I put all these pieces in this box, I couldn't flip the box over to see what the finished product was. Doing this puzzle was difficult without knowing where things were going to go, but I finished it. So, when I finally finished it, I was able to see exactly where each piece had gone, and it seemed silly that I hadn't been able to figure it out while I was doing it. Looking at this puzzle, I could see what each piece brought to the puzzle.

I've often thought of life as a puzzle. But, instead of me being the one in control of putting the pieces together, God is. God knows exactly what the puzzle is going to look like; He knows exactly what section needs each piece. Sometimes He doesn't finish a whole section at once, He takes His time to work on every section, and He completes the puzzle in the most efficient way. He never puts pieces in the wrong place. He may put similar looking pieces in different sections, but they're always in the right place.

There have been some additions made to a section of my puzzle within the last year. Let me explain.

Piece 1:

I'm not sure how many of you have read my previous entries, but in my 'Let The Heavens Open' entry I talked about how God healed my anxiety while I was on stage. My social anxiety was something that I struggled with since I was 5 years old, and in the time that it was at its worst, in the time that it made me hate everything that I once loved, God pushed it all out. In that entry, I talked about feeling free on stage. That night led to my senior sermon and my church offering me a position as a worship leader in my church.

Piece 2:

Fast forward to my 'Youth Convention 2017' entry. In this entry, I mentioned finishing my associate's degree (because I was too scared to drop out), and then giving it all up to God. This convention confirmed in my heart that I was going to spend my life in ministry.

Piece 3:

As I just mentioned, at convention I made the decision to switch my career goal after I finished my associate's degree. It still felt wrong for me to finish my degree, but I let myself get distracted by what other people were saying.

The time leading up to my third semester, and the first few days of the semester made me even more uncomfortable. It wasn't that I just wanted to sit home all day and do nothing, I just felt as though I wasn't supposed to be there.

During the early days of this semester, my youth pastor mentioned the opportunity to go to Texas and help everyone that had been affected by the hurricane. This was something that really interested me, but I couldn't take time off of school, especially not on top of the week that I was going to be missing for a worship leading conference.

This worship leading conference took place when I wasn't even a full week into my third semester. I flew down to Florida with my pastor and his wife, my youth pastor and his wife, and then my church's other worship leader. I was really excited to learn more and see what God was going to do while I was down there. What God did while I was down there blew me away.

I felt even more that I was supposed to drop out. My decision to drop out after that semester was made after I got stuck in the middle of Hurricane Irma and missed more school work than I had originally planned. This hurricane, on top of the one in Texas, was showing me that I wanted to serve others and spread God's word more than I wanted an education for a job that I didn't feel called to.

Piece 4:

We started every day of the conference with worship and then we would move into small groups. One morning after worship, I was walking out of the room with my pastor's wife and she wrapped her arm around me.

"Are you enjoying the conference?" I smiled and nodded at her. "I just wanted to tell you that during worship this morning I had this direct word from God that you were going to be up there one day. That you were going to be leading people in worship." This made me cry. There are no words to explain how much I truly love leading people in worship, and to hear that God was telling someone else to tell me that I was going to do that was truly amazing.

Piece 5:

So there's this direct word from God that I'm going to lead people in worship and I know that I don't have the musical knowledge to fully do that yet, so I started to look at schools.

There was this one school that I found about when the idea of being a worship leader wasn't at the top of my list. I looked it up. I absolutely fell in love with it. I had an audition tape finished, I was working on my application, I was making plans to go to this school. Through this whole process, I was praying and praying. I was praying that if I wasn't meant to be there, despite how much I loved it, that God would show me. I prayed that wherever I go would be the place that I grow into a better leader and grow more in my relationship with God.

Piece 6:

While working on my application one day, I had a question. I went to the website to look for contact information, and as I clicked on the link I found that the program was no longer available.

This school that I had loved the idea of before I even KNEW that I was going to be a worship leader was no longer an option. Suddenly these plans that I had made to lead me to worship leading were completely gone. I was a little disappointed, but I was more excited that this meant that God had something else planned! Something else was going to help me learn or grow more than this school could have! My God has NEVER failed me; the only thing that has failed me is my own plans! Every time my plans have failed, God has shown me something so much greater. That school that I had planned on was not the next piece of my puzzle.

I wanted to show you these little pieces and that they don't all come at the same time because I wanted to show you that God doesn't put all the puzzle pieces in at the same time. He takes HIS time! In the time that these pieces have come together, He has visited different sections of my puzzle. I don't have to be the one struggling to put the puzzle together because it is not my puzzle to put together all by myself, it is the life that I'm living, but it is God's puzzle. He knows exactly where each piece and section belongs. He knows exactly what the finished product will be. As these pieces get connected, I'm able to see where the pieces have gone, but I can't always see or know what puzzle piece is coming next. Whatever piece you're looking at right now, know that you can't judge the final picture based on the piece you're looking at; each piece has power. Your purpose will be revealed in pieces, you're not going to see it while you're in the middle of a section that isn't finished yet. When you see the finished product you will SEE the beauty that each piece makes. God is working all of the pieces together. He's not trying to use different pieces from different puzzles. It's not about the pieces that you don't have, it's about Him using the pieces that you already have and putting them together.

I'm praying that you all would trust in His timing and be completely still. Let Him put the pieces together, don't try to take control of the puzzle that you don't know the final product of. And, if y'all could be praying for me through this section that would be greatly appreciated! Updated journal to come when more pieces are put together!

Love you all! Thanks for reading!