Worship Night in America

"Holy Spirit"

There's nothing worth more

That could ever come close

No thing can compare

You're our living hope

Your presence, Lord

I've tasted and seen

Of the sweetest of loves

Where my heart becomes free

And my shame is undone

Your presence, Lord

Holy Spirit, You are welcome here

Come flood this place and fill the atmosphere

Your glory, God, is what our hearts long for

To be overcome by Your presence, Lord

Your presence, Lord

There's nothing worth more

That could ever come close

No thing can compare

You're our living hope

Your presence, Lord

I've tasted and seen

Of the sweetest of loves

Where my heart becomes free

And my shame is undone

Your presence, Lord

Holy Spirit, You are welcome here

Come flood this place and fill the atmosphere

Your glory, God, is what our hearts long for

To be overcome by Your presence, Lord

Your presence, Lord

Let us become more aware of Your presence

Let us experience the glory of Your goodness

Let us become more aware of Your presence

Let us experience the glory of Your goodness

Let us become more aware of Your presence

Let us experience the glory of Your goodness

Let us become more aware of Your presence

Let us experience the glory of Your goodness

Holy Spirit, You are welcome here

Come flood this place and fill the atmosphere

Your glory, God, is what our hearts long for

To be overcome by Your presence, Lord

On July 23rd, I had the opportunity to go to Chris Tomlin's Worship Night in America. It was several days ago, but I still feel like it was a dream. To just call it amazing doesn't even begin to describe it. The concert was sold out; Madison Square Garden was FILLED with people who love to worship our amazing God!

Have you ever entered a room and just got a vibe, there was just a positive or negative atmosphere? Well, that's what it was like to walk into Madison Square Garden. Never have I ever walked into a place and felt so uplifted as soon as I entered. From the moment I walked in, there was a huge smile on my face, and it stayed there for the rest of the night. I thought youth convention was awesome, to be surrounded by a bunch of teens who love Jesus, but something about this experience was just different. After all the dark times we've been going through as a country, to enter this building and be uplifted by so many other people, to just feel peaceful, was something that I really needed.

As the concert began, I could feel myself battling with my own self. As I've mentioned in previous journals, I've dealt with social anxiety for a really long time, and something that it affects is how I worship. A lot of times I struggle to close my eyes or raise my arms because I'm afraid of what others will think. As I kind of took a step back and looked around, I realized that I didn't care if I was the only person in my section raising my arms, or closing my eyes, or whatever else. Other people didn't pay for my ticket, why should I let them stop me? I'm not worshiping them, I'm worshiping God, and he doesn't care what I look like when I'm worshiping, as long as I'm worshiping him.

It was on my spiritual bucket list to worship like nobody was watching, and that was something that I really feel like I fulfilled at Worship Night in America. With a big smile on my face, I sang the words to every song that was performed, and I closed my eyes, and I raised my arms...and I felt happy. To not feel judged, to feel completely at peace doing something that I had struggled with, made the concert even better.

After singing and worshiping to several songs, Max Lucado came out and talked to the crowd, and what he said has really stuck with me. He talked to us about our names, and what we're called, and then talked to us about what we call our God. Our God is a good father, a great father, and he loves for us to call him our father, he loves for us to call him Abba. Max told us about his trip to Jerusalem with his daughter...they were walking around, and they heard a little girl crying for her Abba, she had lost her way, and wasn't able to find him, and she searched for a while. After a little while he found her, and he picked her up in his arms, and she just smiled at him, she was so happy to have found him again. Her Abba had told her that he would never stop looking for her if she had lost her way, but he didn't want her to wander off again...and the whole time he told us that story, I just thought of how it related to me, how it related to my life. I grew up believing in God, but I lost my way so many times...and when I lost my way, I wanted to know him, but I just kept struggling until finally things changed, my life changed...and my life is so different now that I've found God, now that I'm relying on God. I'm not saying that every day will be easy and that there will be no struggles, but our father, our Abba loves us! He loves us so much that he sent his son to die for us, so that we can have eternal life! He is there with us every step of our life, even if we cannot see him, even if we are not focusing on him, he is there!

Chris Tomlin came back out, and we all sang good good father together, one of my favorite songs, and even though it is played so often, whether it's on the radio, at youth group, or at church, it still makes me so happy every time I hear it. God's love is so undeniable that he just takes my breath away, and the peace that I feel with him in my life is just so hard to describe, and I think that's why it's still hard for me to explain my experience at WNiA, because God is so good that I can hardly think.

Chris Tomlin, you could tell, was just so happy to be there, and he had several surprises, and my favorite surprise was when he brought 4 local youth pastors/worship leaders out on stage with him to sing Amazing Grace. That was my favorite surprise, and it might be one of my favorite moments from the concert. To have a famous artist come and WANT to bring local churches into this experience, to not want everything to be all about him, but to want it to glorify God, and show God's love in this time is something that truly inspires me. I had to stop singing Amazing Grace at one point. I had to stop and look around me. Everybody in that arena sounded so loud, but so beautiful at the same time, and it just overwhelmed me. God's love brought us all there, a love for God brought us all together, and it was one of the most beautiful things that I've ever been a part of.

Towards the end of the concert, Louie Giglio came out to talk to us. And, like Max, what Louie did with the crowd while he was out on stage will also stay with me. Louie came and spoke, but what he did towards the end was what really caught my attention. He spoke to us about praying on our knees. I have not prayed on my knees since I kneeled down at the altar in youth group, and I didn't really notice how much of a difference it seems to make on me. I had all this emotion built up inside of me, my anxiety was starting to act up again, I'm confused on what God is calling me to do as a future career, I don't want to leave all my youth group friends, etc. Louie had all of us kneel down together, all of us pray at the same time...and when I knelt down, I felt peace. There were tears in my eyes as I prayed to God, that he would just handle it, that he knew what the outcome would be, and that he would make me okay. I knelt down and I prayed that God would just guide me to where he wanted me to go. I prayed that God would once again show me while I was battling with this anxiety, and I just felt all this weight come off my shoulders. I don't know everything in life, I don't have everything planned out, but what I do know, and what I do have is Jesus Christ. I have a Lord and savior who LOVES me, and who would never hurt me.

As we stood up, they started another song, and my mom had started to pull me so we could leave. We were leaving a lot earlier than I had planned, and so honestly, with how much I was enjoying the concert, it upset me greatly. My mom could tell I was upset with her, and she didn't hide the fact that she knew. And while I was being rushed out, we ran into a stand selling WNiA merch. This brought some happiness back to me, so I bought a t-shirt, and a cd, and was rushed out the door.

As we were several blocks away, I happened to look in my bag and notice that the lady had given me a large t-shirt, when I had asked for a small, big difference in size, and my mom continued to mention how I had been upset with her. And normally, I would get more upset with my mom, normally I would be upset about spending $30 on a t-shirt that isn't even my size, and then I thought about the concert, and I apologized. I told my mom that I was sorry, and that I was thankful to have been able to go to the concert...sometimes the argument just isn't worth it. I told my mom that it was okay that I was given a big t-shirt, because I would find a way to use it, and I still had the memory of the concert to hold onto. These two things showed me how God continues to change me and work in me. This concert gave me the type of peace that I have needed.

I apologize for how jumbled this was, it was really difficult for me to put into words just how amazing this concert was, and how much I loved it. A recording of Madison Square Garden's Worship Night in America is supposed to come to theaters before the election, so check it out!